Miss you...

Waiting always takes long but usually it’s ok for me. I prefer to wait than being waited because I can do other things, like reading or writing. But this time is different. I am having an appointment with someone to talk about things in connection to my late husband’s, Jan’s, business. I didn’t expect when that person contacted me today so I just mentioned a place for the meeting.

Now I am here, he has not come yet while it is almost thirty minutes passed the appointed time. We never met before so while writing and drinking lemon tea, I look around, something I don’t like, to see if there’s someone who is also waiting. That might be the person.

Then I realized that Jan and I used to come here just for a cup of tea and coffee. They are playing keroncong, Jan’s favourite music. It is a relaxing Indonesian traditional music but now it makes me nervous. It was long time ago when we were here for the last time but it looks like yesterday. Today I am sitting in this place without him around anymore. Strange. Unbelievable. Unfair. But this is the reality.

Schat, I am sure, you’re happy now so I am also happy for you. I just miss you so much……